Gayla Sanders @ Fluffco I don't want to be responsible for contributing to an already messed up cultural climate.
In the past few years I've discovered that I really like designing what are
commonly referred to as content sites. I think designing large corporate
portal sites would be awful, but medium sized sites are great. Just being
the designer often isn't enough for me. I like to be personally involved in
a project. Even if personal involvement isn't a part of the work, I still
feel a personal attachment to it because my time was sucked into its
creation. It's important for me to feel good about what I'm doing. I don't
want to be responsible for corrupting teenagers, selling crappy products or
contributing to an already messed up cultural climate. I've done that for a
living in the past and it was a really vapid, soul crushing experience. I
couldn't find myself within it. I hated design. I didn't think I wanted to
do it anymore or that I was even good at it. I couldn't understand what
was happening to me, and then I realized that it was the work, the people I
was working with and the whole climate surrounding the work. I hated all of
it but mostly I hated how hateful it made me.
Leaving that last job changed my life. It forced me to get off my butt and
start doing work that I really liked. Starting Fluffco was the first thing
I had done in a really long time in a design capacity that I was truly proud
of. Not just because I had made something pretty, but because I could stand
behind the content. I had all of these ideas in my head or written on
scraps of paper for years that I hadn't started. I'm still catching up with
ideas from three years back. New ideas and work tend to get in the way and
sidetrack me. However when I'm not realizing any of my ideas I get really
miserable really fast. Self-indulgence is a big part of what motivates me.
All of my best work (parts of Fluffco and all of You Grow Girl) has been the
most self-indulgent. I define the word more as doing what you want to do
without answering to anyone rather then engaging in an extended self-centred
monologue. Inevitably I want people to get involved. I'm self-indulgent
but I also prefer to work with other people and I don't mind sharing.